Worried Mind's Scribbling

Who cares when I cry
were there is none that knows
what im going through
all others could see is only my smile
which is an outburst of my pain
a man with loads of stress
going through day by day
only can fool around myself
thinking its all the mind that matters
unfit to stay in this materialistic world
not even in its gaps,
where shall I head to ?

Is this world not for me
os is it for me to test my patience
what is the true value of this life
i should be definitely happy on comparison
which is just a consoling point
still don't wanna keep going this way
round in circles starting from the same place
unable to find a solution
how long am i gonna fight
always seen a problem as an opportunity
to prove that i can be the winner
but of what ?
am I still losing by winning
and its hard to realise that
I still stand a chance of winning
by losing the unwanted toxic

Suffering could only take me
to a better state of living
have I not suffered enough
having a bed but not sleep
a house but not home
can't act in this dramatic world
where nothing seems to be true
when things go wrong
with memories breaking me down
each and everytime I try to get up
i wish i could lose my memory
though the good ones might go
at least I can have a fresh start
is it not late for one ?
better late than never.