Saturday, 27 June 2009

Anything for him - Few easy ones

1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn't want a man for his wife! 2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don't stay in your sleeping suit all day.
3. Smell good!
4. Don't lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
5. Don't keep asking him, 'what are you thinking?'
6. Stop nagging non-stop before God gives you something really to complain about.
7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in your religion. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
12. Compliment him on the things you know he's not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
13. Tell him he's the best husband ever anyone can have.
14. Call his family often.
15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
16. When he's talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you're interested.
17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
18. If he's in a bad mood, give him some space. He'll get over it, in the name of God.
19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It's a big deal.
20. If he's angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you're quiet.You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he's calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
21. When you're mad at him, don't say 'YOU make me furious', rather, 'This action makes me upset'. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they're good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn't feel 'cooped up' at home.
24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really
25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
26. Don't get mad over small things. It's not worth it.
27. Make jokes. If you're not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
28. Tell him you're the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you're good at.
29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
30. Don't ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you're a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
32. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he's your servant. 'They are garment to each other'
33. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times.
Aisha, radiallahu anha, narrated that the Prophet , salallahu alaihi wasalaam, used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like 'a knot.' And the next time he would ask her, 'How is that knot?' He also used to reply to her saying, 'Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.'
34. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
35. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, in the name of God you will not get FAT and frumpy.
36. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don't laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
37. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
38. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
39. Don't discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
40. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
41. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the 'dough'. It makes it easier for him to go to work.
42. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
43. Brush your hair, everyday.
44. Don't forget to do laundry.
45. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
46. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
47. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies
48. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
49. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
50. Learn tricks and 'techniques' to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
51. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
52. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
53. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don't wait until matters become worse.
54. Ask Godto strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Evil. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of its spirit. Nothing works like prayer and love only exists between spouses where God instills it.
55. Don't EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don't say, 'well her husband doesn't do that, why do you …' (thats a killer!)
56. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter heaven together in the name of God and of course, vice versa!
57. Strive for God's love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek God's love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if God loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
58. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn't take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
59. Wake him up for the night prayer and ask him to pray with you.

A Little description

1. Beautiful Reception
After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you.
Begin with a good greeting.
Meet him with a cheerful face.
Beautify and perfume yourself Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested.
Receive him with loving and yearning sentences.
Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.
Beautify and Soften the Voice

2. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification
* Take good care of your body and fitness.
* Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.
* Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape
* Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes
* Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time However with these things you should avoid excessiveness Exchange loving phrases with your husband.

3. Satisfaction
* You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job
* You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people
* You should remember that real wealth lies in faith and piety.

4. Indifference to Worldly Things
* You should not consider this world as your hope and interest.
* You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.
* Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people.

5. Appreciation
* Remember the saying, "the majority of people in Hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them".
* The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways
* The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be disappointed and will start asking himself: "Why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates?"

6. Devotion and Loyalty
* In particular in times of calamities in your husband's body or business e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy
* Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.

7. Compliance to Him
* In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited
* In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant.

8. Pleasing him If he Is Angry First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger. But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:
* If you were mistaken, then apologize
* If he was mistaken then: Keep still instead of arguing or Yield you right or Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him.
* If he was angry because of external reasons then: Keep silent until his anger goes Find excuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, someone insulted him
* Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened e.g. 1) You should tell me what happened! 2) I must know what made you so angry! 3) You are hiding something, and I have the right to know!

9. Guardianship While he is Absent
* Protect yourself from any prohibited relations
* Keep the secrets of the family, particularly Personal life and things that the husbands don't like other people to know.
* Take care of the house and children.
* Take care of his money and properties
* Refuse people whom he does not like to come over
* Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence

10. Showing Respect for his Family and Friends
* You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents.
* You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives.
* You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife
* Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.
* Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home
* Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc...

11. Admirable Jealousy
* Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulting or backbiting others disrespecting them, etc…
* You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.

12. Patience and Emotional Support
* Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.
* When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, his and your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.
* When facing hardships (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested etc.
* Be patient and encourage him to keep on the spiritual path and remind him of Paradise.
* When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment.

13. Support in Obedience to God
* Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.
* Encourage him to pray at night.
* Support your husband's activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc.

14. Good Housekeeping
* Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged
* Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom
* Perfect food (preparation) and prepare healthy foods
* Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing
* Learn how to raise children properly

15. Preservation of Finances and the Family
* Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this.
* Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.
* Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc.

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